Saturday, January 29, 2011

the other day

Once the fair Spinache is thoroughly Discomfited, break one or two of the freshest hen's Egges (or whichever eggs are available at your dingy local supermarket). (Ask for our Egg-Breaking Tutorial, not yet available online!)

Oppose some pickled Jalapenos to the Eggs, combining with a home-made Mexican salsa (alternatively: the salsa most readily available at your dingy local supermarket).


Cover gently, as one would a sleeping child, with slices of Jarlsberg.  (I'm assuming your child likes Jarlsberg.)

Smother, delicately, as one would a sleeping giant, with a soft tortilla. For best
results you should grow the corn on your back porch and grind it between two flat rocks, baking the tortilla on an open fire (be careful not to burn down the porch). Alternatively,
you can use whichever brand is most readily available at your dingy local supermarket (in my case, "Santa Maria").
Remove from Heate when the Egge, with its jaundiced Eye, begins to glare at you, threatening solidification (you want the eggs a bit runny). 
Don't make the mistake (common among the neophyte) of thinking that your work is done once the stove is off. That would be as foolish as a mountaineer proclaiming success upon having summitted, when clearly the summit marks only the first half of the journey. Ah, to bag a tall Peake, and feast upon the landscape laid bare below! But my point is: you need to fold the tortilla and plate it. Practice makes perfect. You can practice, in your spare time, with a small (alternatively: large) handkerchief. For the rest of us, there is trial & error (a pedagogical technique not noted for efficiency, but unmatched in popularity).

That's it! Note that this makes a perfect late breakfast. The tortilla lends it a lunch- or dinner-like aspect, so your friends won't know that you just got up.